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Who am I – Writing Competition Young People Winner

Young People Winner – Ruby Age 14

Everywhere and nowhere

I am everywhere and I am nowhere. But you do not see me and therefore deny my existence. “Not me,” you said, “you can’t touch me.” But I will, there is no other way. Some of the less foolish have learnt to accept me into their life. They make it easier by getting used to the shadow I cast and welcoming it as a friend who copies their every move. Each time we meet I chip away at that naive exterior you have, until all that’s left is the truth. The truth stood right in front of you, waiting for you to accept it.

Everywhere: I am here and I am there. In the ever browning leaves that fall from autumn trees. In the cracks of a broken heart. In the wrinkles on your forehead. In the shadow trailing behind you. In the family photograph hung on the wall.

Nowhere: I am here and I am there. I can not be seen or touched, heard or smelt. But I can be felt deep within your bones.

So you deny my existence, cast me off as a thing of the past, a thing that happens only in your nightmares. How could you be so foolish? You know why I am here. I show myself to you so often and yet, you still deny me. You deny I am a product of such a tragic event, that you still feel my presence after all this time, that I control everything, that I am everything. But most of all you deny that I can not be cured or dismissed, that once I enter your life, I burrow deep and never leave you. I sneak in through a crack in your workings when you are most vulnerable, then I spread and grow, setting my roots in your life. Even after the deed is done I don’t let go. I keep a hold of you, control you. I can pull at your chest, stealing your breath. I can puncture a hole in your life. I can crush you with overwhelming feelings. I can tease what life would have been like if you had never met me. I can follow you around as a shadow casting a dullness over your life, as a constant reminder of what happened to you. I can haunt you inside and out. That makes people upset, angy. They curse my name, weep and wail over what I have done. But why? Do they not know who I am? What I do? How can they expect to escape me in their life when I am everywhere and nowhere all at once. I am death in its truest form. Greif.